Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
