Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
