i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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