you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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