Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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