from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
