Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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