i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
