I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
