let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
