Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize