You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
