Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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