So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
