Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
