Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
