I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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