M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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