South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
