Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
