I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
