these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wish there were birth control emojis
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
