Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize