just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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