I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
