No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
