The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he had hair everywhere except his balls
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He shit in the fireplace
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