Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
