part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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