I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
