You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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