just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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