went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
