I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
