I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
