The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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