he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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