I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
