lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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