Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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