Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
