bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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