So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
