the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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