I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
