Where are you?
In a non slutty way
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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