why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
