We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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