so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
