I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
