If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize