k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
