Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
either way he was missing a nipple.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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