Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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