I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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