I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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