sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
