tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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