PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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