just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
