just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
