Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
