i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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