I'm jealous of your bromance
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
