i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
