OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
